Lately I have really been having a lot of trouble sleeping. Maybe it's the fact that the woman I'm staying with isn't very friendly, and her husband is just the opposite. (the children are sweet though)
I worry about the two little girls I watch, they have so much energy and trouble making curiosity. I'm afraid they will hurt themselves somehow, yes it's silly I know.
It's definitely partly because I am feeling regretful about leaving Georgetown.
Part of me feels like i've grown up too fast. Two years ago I was eighteen finishing high school, now I'm twenty.. an au pair of all things, engaged and no longer enrolled in university.
I guess the biggest thing that keeps me up at night is how much I love Tobias. Being away from him right now isn't nearly as bad as when I first had to leave him to come back to the states.
My parents hated him. He was too old for me, in their opinion.
Luckily we were still able to see each other through some trips to Miami he made on the down low. Paid for by his parents, who happen to love me.
Zum Schluss
I toss and turn, I can't keep my eyes close for more than a few hours, I always feel miserable and my heart aches.
My parents were furious when they found out me and Tobias were engaged, they said I was too young to be in love. I used to wonder if maybe they were right.
Today, I have no doubts.. we have no doubts. We've made it these past four difficult years, over coming distance, age (truly a minor problem, we are only four years apart), and my parents (and maybe a few others) who really didn't want us to be together.
As much as I'm so pleased at how much better my Russian has gotten, I can't wait to get the hell out of here. Then I can get married to the man that I love, surrounded by the people that love and support us.
Maybe my parents will let Atticus, Aria, and Anna come to the wedding. Maybe we will have reconciled by then, seems unlikely.
My grandma from Sweden is definitely invited... Who will walk me down the aisle? Atticus can't, he's only twelve.
Blargh, I'll stop before I go off on another path.
On a lighter note I got an industrial piercing . No worries my neighbor did it, as the department of state suggests not getting any piercings in Russia on the possibility of a greater chance of infection here...
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Russia? Cool.
ReplyDeletewow u got an industrial, i want one but i got my tragus done and it nearly killed me...right exaggerating, but it did hurt like a bitch!
Try not to get too depressed about the opposition to the relationship. I think your parents will come around, esp. as they see that you are taking responsibility for your life and that your fiance is serious about you and that the relationship is progressing.
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT growing up too fast, but, yes, you have certainly covered a lot of life-altering steps in a very short time. You've made these choices. Just remember that you always have the choice to slow down if things become too overwhelming. You can postpone the wedding to a more comfortable date, you can return to school and you can quit that au pair job and go live somewhere that you are surrounded by friends and love.
You have choices - sometimes not easy to make - but don't forget that.